14 October 2011

Beware the Internet Police

I am a marked man. You may remember my last Wet Sponge Report where I suggested a few options regarding Climate Change. Well those comments have made alarm bells ring at some computerised office somewhere in the world. Here some people obviously think it is worth while to spend money trawling the internet for Climate Change commentaries. Their system analyses the surrounding text and assesses the tone and whether the website is pro or anti Climate Change.

They have decided in their wisdom that my blog has a -0.80 tone with a 6.42% polarising effect. This means I am apparently against Climate Change by 0.8% with a 6.42% emotive force. i.e. a wet sponge. No surprise there.

So I thought I’d make their efforts more worthwhile by being a bit less sluggish in my opinions and go out and say Climate Change is fantastic!!! Go Go Go Climate Change! Isn’t it great that the climate can change so easily? If it didn’t where would the seasons go? I totally agree with Climate Change. Etc. etc.

I don’t wish to bore you (too late) with more of this positivity about Climate Change so I will discuss the issue really here and that is internet watchdogs. The CO2 Capture Rpt is probably just one of many organisations out there continuously trawling the internet for catch phrases that signify a possible threat or bonus to their existence. I am also guilty of this by using Google to search for IVRRAC throughout the entire web to see if there are comments or cheap offers for my book. One of the bonuses of having an Acronym title is the uniqueness of the search. BOAS, although also an acronym, will not be so easily researched when it comes out as it is also a well used word.

Apart from being asked “Did you mean ivac?” by Google I still get about 7,230 results which end up to be only 300 odd actual results. This was how I stumbled upon the report mentioned above. But from this search I find out that Sony ebookstore has it as five stars and apparently I reviewed the book for them. This was one of the reasons I have retracted IVRRAC from Smashwords as their information passed onto the internet stores is not one hundred per cent accurate. (The five stars is, of course, that I reviewed the book isn’t).

I always knew that including certain words together in one message is not a good idea, like “Bomb” and “Aeroplane” oops. I think I’m safe though as I gather in America it is spelt airplane so I won’t light up any warning lights at the CIA. But now I realise that the CIA are not the only people out there watching me. So do I now shut up and remain silent in the hope these watchful eyes never see me, or do I disappoint you and keep on blogging anyway? I think the latter as I think what I think and if some people don’t like it, they can post a comment on this blog. A good blog discussion always brings in more readers.

My only hope (okay not the only one) is that the Hollywood directors use similar trawling methods and that one day they’ll stumble upon this blog and think to themselves “Hmmm this book will make a great movie!” I mean that is why we authors write books, isn’t it?  To get us a movie deal?


Cheers and Blessings








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